“You’re not allowed to ground my son”: Stepmom grounds 17-year-old stepson for disrespecting her, husband intervenes and ungrounds him, causing marital crisis

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome back people of the internet. Parenting is like being on a trampoline with other people bouncing and you can't stand up for a second and ground yourself. It's constant war with your children, your husband or wife, and with yourself. Sometimes you may not be on board with parenting styles as your spouse, so it's important to talk about these things early on. Maybe you want to be a "hands off" type of parent, whose aloof behavior will make the child weave their own way through self-motivation. Maybe you want to be the disciplinary, with extremely high standards for your kids, always pushing them and putting consequences on their bad behavior. Maybe you're somewhere in the middle, but no matter how you act, you have to have some sort of agreement with your partner. 

In the story below, that's not exactly the case. The couple fights over parenting, but the context is that they're divorcees with children from other relationships. The protagonist is the father, and he has an older son from a different marriage. He and his wife share two other boys, but she suddenly insists on parenting him more than a stepmom should be permitted to. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH because I told my wife she isn't allowed to ground my son?

    Cheezburger Image 10510586112
    via JackF from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My son is seventeen. My wife and I also have three more boys. Two are from before our marriage, but I'm legally their father now. They
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 03
    are all much younger than my son. My son is starting his senior year of highschool next year and hoping to get an athletic scholarship.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 04
    My son plans to spend all summer practicing. Yesterday my wife asked him to tidy up the living room and he said he was already on the way to the gym.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 05
    She told him that he could go after tidying. He said he would do it when he got back and left without giving her time to reply. She sent him a text saying he is grounded and then called me to let me know.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10510586624
    via Vasyl Dolmatov from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    I told her I would talk to him, but he wasn't grounded. She said he disrespected her, and I said we could and would have a conversation about that, but there would be no grounding.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709

  • Is this what you wanted to live in a house that was haunted by the ghost of you and me? A famous line by the one of a kind Leonard Cohen, and it has nothing to do with the story. The OP seems like a really emotionally mature and intelligent man, he's one of a kind, just like Leonard Cohen. 

  • 08
    This is my last summer with my oldest child and an important summer, because he's trying to achieve something that can make or break his future. I'm not going to risk ruining either of those things unless it's something really serious.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 09
    She was very upset. I texted my son that he wasn't grounded, but that we wanted to talk to him when he came home. He said okay and texted me when he was leaving the gym to let us know he
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 10
    was on the way. When he got back we sat down and talked. He said he didn't mind helping out, but that he was a busy person with a busy schedule and wasn't
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 11
    at our beck and call. He said if he is asked in advance to do something he will, but he isn't. available to us at the drop of a hat.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 12
    My wife didn't like that, but I said that was fine. I asked him if he would be willing to clean the living room, and he said he would after taking a shower. While he
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 13
    was in the shower my wife and I got into a big fight. She said I undermined her and all the kids will respect her less. I said she isn't my oldest's mother and final
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 14
    say goes to me with him. Any of our other kids and I wouldn't do what I did, but she's not his mom. She was very angry I said that and said she needed space from me.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 15
    We have only talked as much as necessary today, and I'm getting worried. We are supposed to be at a memorial day barbecue in an hour, and she just asked me if I
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 16
    could stay home while she took the boys without me (my oldest has plans with friends and already left). I am wondering if I'm the a_h_le here. My son always said that he would respect my wife, but she's not his mother. He's
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 17
    never cussed her, shouted at her or what have you. I think it's fair that we stay consistent with her not being his mom. Maybe I'm being a bad husband.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 18
    Update: My wife and the kids got home about an hour ago. After we put the kids to bed, we talked. I asked her, after five years of never even attempting to be any
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 19
    sort of mother to my oldest, why she all of a sudden wanted to step into that role. She said she wasn't trying to parent him, that she was just trying to manage the household, and he wasn't
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 20
    cooperating. I said that wasn't a reason to react the way she did, and he was cooperating by offering to do it later. She said she was overwhelmed and needed it done then so she didn't have to think about it.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 21
    I told her it's very important to me that this last summer be a good one, because I don't know when I'll see him again after this. I mentioned how I'm anxious that I won't be able to attend his big
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10510586368
    via Drazen_ from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    events because he might not want her there, and I can't abandon my wife to travel without her. As I was talking, really rambling more than anything, her eyes lit up. She
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 24
    smiled at me. I thought it was so weird, because I hadn't said anything positive and a moment ago she'd been upset.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 25
    I asked what was going on. She said nothing. She then asked me if I meant that. I was confused and asked which part. She asked if I'd choose her over my son. I said I'd never choose anything
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 26
    over my children. She said, but if he invited you to visit him and not me, you wouldn't go? I said I couldn't do that to her, it wouldn't be right. As a husband, I can't just abandon her unless it was an emergency or something.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 27
    Obviously I don't want an emergency, so you can see why I'm stressed about this possible future where I go years without seeing my son.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 28
    She said she understood and it wouldn't happen again, but the whole interaction was so strange. One moment she was upset and defensive. The next moment she was kissing me and telling me I was going to have a great
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 29
    summer and everything would be okay. The whole thing was so, so odd. I asked her how the barbeque was and she said it was alright, but it would have been better if I was there, which I had no idea how to respond to.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 30
    Anyway, I'm typing this in the bathroom. I don't know what to make of this situation. Half of me thinks this is a resolution and I can put it behind me, and maybe the other half is too paranoid from reading so many comments,
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 31
    but that half thinks this is just a symptom of a bigger problem. Either way, my wife is happy, so I'm better off than I was before, I suppose.
    via u/BallAcrobatic2709
  • 32
    Graygirl1275 ⚫ 10h ago Have your son and your wife had problems before this? How was their relationship? Does your son see his Mom?
    via u/Graygirl1275

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